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touch of painted curls
Walking (running ) home last night I thought about the sense of… 
20th-Dec-2003 07:35 pm
Walking (running ) home last night I thought about the sense of possibility. I thought about how from this moment, there are a hundred thousand branches my life could take. Decisions waiting to be made. The possibility of somethng new, of love, of friendship, adventure.

So I thought about the moments in life when the possibilities seemed to expand most. Stages of freedom. Here's what I came up with:

Independent Thought
   As I see it, this occurred earlier than I remember. It's the realization that I am not a slave to my parents' or anyone's will. That sometimes, no punishment that can be doled out is worth changing my mind.

Independent Communication
   I was extremely antisocial in my younger years, so learning to enjoy communication is a step I remember. ;) For me, text-based freedom came first. I didn't learn to comfortably use a phone or talk in person until much later.

Independent Living Arrangements
   I remember clearly the first time I left home (parents) long enough to call somewhere else home for awhile. During high school, I went to Concord for a summer program at St. Paul's School. The living arrangements there were roughly those of college, with more rules. I had my own room in a dorm. I had a bike. I had a curfew, though I neglected it sometimes. I was responsible for getting myself to class. I was alone, and found myself a different person than I thought I was, without anyone to remind me.

Independent Transportation
   I was thinking of my first car when I tucked this thought away, but it can be a bike, comfort with public transportation, anything. I got my license fairly late (about 18), and really appreciated its benefits. I so disliked my first summer home after college that the next summer I set out for California with a van full of stuff, money for gas, and a job waiting. I slept in Bertha, as she's now called, for four days, and loved the trip.

Independent Finances
   This one's fairly obvious. :) For me, it started during college when I decided I didn't want to be on the school meal plan even if that was the only decision my dad would pay for, but I didn't really get there until my first good job.

Independent Happiness?
   I'm not sure if this one belongs. But it seems there is a purely emotional frontier not covered by the others. This pursuit may be less solitary than the others, but there is still a large degree of personal responsibility involved. Finding happiness opens up more possiblities for self and friends.

Also, I've been working on buying a house for some time, I'm sure once I get one, that will register somewhere on this list. :)

The possibilities are always there. Life is learning to see them.
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