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touch of painted curls
happy, coatless and nameless spirits 
12th-Jan-2004 06:16 pm
dragons
My favorite scene is the first.
Where she asks him if he's happy,
So lost... in a foreign world.
No words to answer with,
But the joy of talking about things that matter.
Of seeing you.
If you are heaven, your time will come.

She's got her long coat
and walks like she knows it,
in careless, careful grace.
I've got nothing,
and I liked it that way,
but I envy her style.

I feel a sort of desperation when I try to explain my spirituality. First negatives. No, I'm not Christian. Most of my friends label themselves pagan, but I'm not quite that, either. I share almost nothing with those who label themselves atheists, or claim no religion. I worship people. I worship emotion, dreaming, ideas, ideals, all without names. The muse, serendipity, magic with a k or not, words and the dark and morning, everything with two sides, fire, water, earth and air, breathing and life. I hold passion and reverence for so many things. I have no one name for what I am (hehe... save my own and even those I have lots of). I love. And I want to defend myself and not have to, at once. I want to speak and answer with passion, but I never know how.

Then it's please don't think I don't feel,
Because I believe in different magic.
I believe in yours, too.
Though I only see it in your eyes.

This entry is various thoughts. It's been sitting open for a couple days, so I'm posting it now. ;)
Comments 
12th-Jan-2004 04:55 pm (UTC)
Your 'religion' sounds a lot like mine, although I think I claim to be agnostic just because I don't know what else I'd be.
12th-Jan-2004 10:59 pm (UTC)
*smiles* I have another entry in my head I want to write about certainty its complement. :) Conviction is key (which is not to mean desirable always). You might get a smile out of the info for apatheists.

I appreciate agnosticism, what it's trying to say. I also agree with people who feel it's important to stand for something, to make a decision... instead of hurting themselves on a fence. It's easy to argue that and give atheists more credit than agnostics. I think in these groups, it's not so much about what can and cannot be known as it is about priorities. There are so many groups that define themselves in order to rebel against the common priorities, the religions that put themselves second to nothing. In the end, I value balance. For each of value: Too much sometimes. Too little others. Too much more than too little, perhaps (yay excess), but still some of both. :)

Many things I care most about are not in the typical forefront of "religion"... but people are first on my list. Something that took me many years to realize is this: Some things cannot be defined in one's own terms. Sometimes I have to know what it means to someone else to know anything about it. I had to suspend some cynicism and analytical thinking, a suspension which wasn't natural for me. ;) I believe ideas can be universal; I like to express them as such. But not everyone does, and the world as a crystal of infinite faces is lovely, too.

I think we're all very similar. All different to the point where sometimes no parallel will draw, but still connected. :) I also think I'm not very coherent, and I apologize! :)

*hugs* meow :)
13th-Jan-2004 02:04 pm (UTC)
Hmmm, I understood that, surprisingly.
Very yin and yang. Good deal. ;)
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