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touch of painted curls
more on passion without desperation 
11th-Mar-2004 01:39 am
dragons
(more on: Passion without desperation. The ability to care deeply and still realize that there isn't much in life worth getting deeply upset about. The ability to enjoy damn near anything.)

I know what it's like to get upset about the tiniest things, only later realizing how unimportant they are. But more so, I realize even with important things, how counterproductive it is to get upset about them. Getting upset is an outlet for passion, but it seems to be one of the less constructive ones. The statement above is a rejection of drama as an everyday part of life. Ongoing anger and jealousy, for example, feel destructive to me. It's alright to get upset.. we all do, but I try to resolve it internally after that. Drama cannot escalate much if even one side remains calm.

Maturity? Maybe not. It's a personal goal of some kind. In a way, it's spirituality. I don't want to walk through the world projecting angst onto everything around me. I want to remember the positives when things suck, building on their strength. To have control of myself. I believe we have a lot of control over our emotions, that much of them is cognitive or can be, and not an entirely separate hormonal engine. Passion is not inherently less beautiful to me if it's conscious. I don't want to be driven by fear.

Appreciating "unpleasant" things comes from the others. If the mind rejects reactionism and chooses an emotional response, many responses become possible. Such as: "Oh, what a lovely boot! I'm glad I got to see it so closely!" after getting kicked in the face. Maybe it's just optimistic thought, maybe it's clinical detachment. At first it's just another kind of reactionism, but it becomes something more. Sometimes experience is the number of perspectives you can truly see from.

Life is beyond our control. But our responses are entirely our own. And they're who we have to live with, all the time.
Comments 
10th-Mar-2004 11:25 pm (UTC)
Mmhmm. Yes.
10th-Mar-2004 11:33 pm (UTC)
Mmm.. rosefox approves! :) *preens feathers* :)
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11th-Mar-2004 08:22 am (UTC)
Yes, well... this is not a new argument. I did put the keyword "ongoing" in my post, as a preemptive response to some of this. Anger, jealousy, and drama are all okay/necessary at times. I agree that they should be motivation for change, not just continual angst. The amount/types you and I are comfortable with may differ, but I think that's mostly a detail. Also note "It's alright to get upset.. we all do, but I try to resolve it internally after that."

The part about controlling life is more interesting. Obviously, there are parts of life we can control (and I believe they are very prevalent), so "we can't control life" refers to the parts we can't. But really, in controlling our responses, we control nearly everything that matters to us. So you're right. I don't think I'd change how I said it, though. ;)
11th-Mar-2004 10:39 am (UTC) - more
It also occurs to me that I've never had any difficulty stirring shit up or being passionate about things. So I don't mean to downplay the importance of passion... it's just not my focus.

The question of when the initial drama is necessary is interesting, but probably largely a personal thing. I think it can be shown that change and motivation can occur with or without high drama and either is better/effective in context. It's a little related to whether creativity must be a spark of intuitive genius or can also be a gradual transformation and construction of ideas. Change does not have to be sudden, and it can be thought through before taking action. Loss of momentum is not always fatal. ;)

I don't think you /have/ to get mad to want to change something. But I think that's a common reason, and a powerful one. I also think it's only the first step. Wanting to change things is usually easier than figuring out how to do it effectively. How much of the anger and drama one wants to keep moving into the next phase, that's my focus. It depends on the problem, but given my style of thinking... /my/ answer is usually not a lot. I can rationalize anything if I stay angry/upset. I know my logic and decisions are often bullshit in that mode.
11th-Mar-2004 06:37 am (UTC)
yay! wonderful.

i really respect your view here and totally agree. there is a lot of chaos in the world and life that we can't control. some of it is very "bad"... but we don't have to be at the whim of the ripples of chaos around us. we can choose to make ourselves okay with everything repeatedly.

i'm still working on this one. i have the realization much more often after the fact that i didn't need to get upset and sometimes have it before i get too upset. it's slowly getting integrated. it's a hard one, that i've been working on for a while.

11th-Mar-2004 09:38 am (UTC)
I liked this.  Another for the memories.
11th-Mar-2004 10:03 am (UTC)
I was secretly hoping you would. :)
11th-Mar-2004 06:29 pm (UTC)
and to think... this post might not have existed had i not questioned you further in comments! mwahahah. :p
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